Tonight was Lowell's homecoming dance. At 11:00 I went to the high school to pick up a few of the girls from the youth group...Annelyse, Emily, Nichole, and Mary to have our own little after party. I went inside the school so that finding each other would be easiest, and I was laughing to myself at the fact that for many of those girls, tonight was the first or second night they have ever worn high heels. I don't know why that struck me as so fascinating tonight. Most of them couldn't even walk right in them. It was more of an awkward shuffle. and if they weren't doing the "how do I walk in these shoes?!" shuffle, they were carrying them because of the physical pain that is often inflicted upon the wearer haha. Heels are so adult and so representative of being a woman. I have heard several men specifically say, "I love the way a woman walks in heels". When I was a little girl I couldn't wait for the day when I could click click click my way down a hall in some heels. and here these girls were, on this night- no longer girls, not quite women, shuffling along. and maybe I'm making too much of it, but it was quite amusing nonetheless.
Somehow whenever I have people over we always end up hanging out in my kitchen. Tonight was no different. We ate, laughed, slept (Mary), sat, and talked on my kitchen floor. I love it. I love these girls. I love their hearts and what they're learning about life and God. I love their dreams, questions, hopes, fears, boyfriends, and first kisses.
Girls are so fun. I love being a girl. Boys are so different, so often afraid to be tender and inviting to each other. Walls are up, pride is there. Girls, we just spill stuff out hoping that our trust won't be wasted.... we hope that saying "what ever we say here stays here!" or "don't tell anyone, but..." is enough. Girls need relationship, we need to be understood, heard, loved. and when it's not coming from anywhere else, atleast it's there in our friends....
:-)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
My heart is smiling!
I am happy.
That's about as simple as sentences get. But it's such a huge statement. I'm happy. I am happy. I'M HAPPY! Are you? I really hope so.
I just got done hanging out with Julie, Amanda, and Emily. My 'sisters' that I choose to have in my life. My high school best friends. haha we had a great night. It included Lowell's homecoming football game and then the grand opening of a hot blues "club" downtown. Swing friends were there so I got to do some dancing, and we laughed. We laughed so much. OH and they had Brandon, Matt, Bock... Kyra, Becky, and myself compete aaaand lets just say that Brandon and I won the crowd over... I think it helped that I had my own cheering section in said crowd though. Thanks ladies :-)
aaand today I found the most delightful bouquet of flowers in a gorgeous vase painted just for me by this amazing guy whose eye I have somehow caught. I'm quite smitten with the whole thing, to be completely honest.
Chelsea once asked me, "Leslie, if you walked up to people talking... and just as you approached their conversation you realized that they are talking about you... and the last words out of their mouths are... "Leslie is...." - how would you want that sentence to end?" aaand that is actually a really hard question to come up with an answer to on the spot. But I finally chose genuine. My hearts cry is to be genuine. It's really easy for me to be fake... fake interested.... fake excited.... fake happy... not good, not good at all. But lately I have found that I'm genuinely interested in people. I'm genuinely interested in you Danielle, Josh, Kyra, Chelsea, Brian, Cory.... I genuinely care.
I also wouldn't mind if the next word in that sentence included any of the following either: accepting, loving, humble, fun, feminine, ladylike, serious, funny, outgoing, caring, fierce, a woman, obedient, spontaneous, interesting, intelligent, pretty, determined, successful, deep, an example, a follower of Christ, a disciple of the Living God, honorable, a fighter, loveable, honest....
but to be any of those only on the outside only is empty. So Lord, please let me be all of those things, but let me be them genuinely. Not as a show. Not so that I can get people to like me. Not so I can just make other people happy. Let me genuinely be all of these things, and let me be them all for You.
::sigh:: I'm happy.....
oh and just as a side note. I am compiling a list... sort of a... "suggestions for living fully" list. It's been kind of fun. You know how everyone is always like, "yeah... I like to live life to the fullest"... well what does that mean? I wonder. So, I'm writing things down, observations, lessons, tips, suggestions, ideas down. It's kind of fun. If you have any please comment me.
That's about as simple as sentences get. But it's such a huge statement. I'm happy. I am happy. I'M HAPPY! Are you? I really hope so.
I just got done hanging out with Julie, Amanda, and Emily. My 'sisters' that I choose to have in my life. My high school best friends. haha we had a great night. It included Lowell's homecoming football game and then the grand opening of a hot blues "club" downtown. Swing friends were there so I got to do some dancing, and we laughed. We laughed so much. OH and they had Brandon, Matt, Bock... Kyra, Becky, and myself compete aaaand lets just say that Brandon and I won the crowd over... I think it helped that I had my own cheering section in said crowd though. Thanks ladies :-)
aaand today I found the most delightful bouquet of flowers in a gorgeous vase painted just for me by this amazing guy whose eye I have somehow caught. I'm quite smitten with the whole thing, to be completely honest.
Chelsea once asked me, "Leslie, if you walked up to people talking... and just as you approached their conversation you realized that they are talking about you... and the last words out of their mouths are... "Leslie is...." - how would you want that sentence to end?" aaand that is actually a really hard question to come up with an answer to on the spot. But I finally chose genuine. My hearts cry is to be genuine. It's really easy for me to be fake... fake interested.... fake excited.... fake happy... not good, not good at all. But lately I have found that I'm genuinely interested in people. I'm genuinely interested in you Danielle, Josh, Kyra, Chelsea, Brian, Cory.... I genuinely care.
I also wouldn't mind if the next word in that sentence included any of the following either: accepting, loving, humble, fun, feminine, ladylike, serious, funny, outgoing, caring, fierce, a woman, obedient, spontaneous, interesting, intelligent, pretty, determined, successful, deep, an example, a follower of Christ, a disciple of the Living God, honorable, a fighter, loveable, honest....
but to be any of those only on the outside only is empty. So Lord, please let me be all of those things, but let me be them genuinely. Not as a show. Not so that I can get people to like me. Not so I can just make other people happy. Let me genuinely be all of these things, and let me be them all for You.
::sigh:: I'm happy.....
oh and just as a side note. I am compiling a list... sort of a... "suggestions for living fully" list. It's been kind of fun. You know how everyone is always like, "yeah... I like to live life to the fullest"... well what does that mean? I wonder. So, I'm writing things down, observations, lessons, tips, suggestions, ideas down. It's kind of fun. If you have any please comment me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
All of my memories.....
Can I just go ahead and say that my life is pretty much amazing. I have been having so much fun and such cool memories lately that I need to dedicate another blog entirely to remembering them. "May your life be filled with moments that make your life sooo sweet" well, my life is full of them!
Memory to remember #1: Watching the Lowell Police give Brian, Josh, and myself parking tickets from the safety of a 40 foot tree and making the fastest getaway ever. Ohmygosh it is the coolest story, please ask me to tell it if you haven't heard it already.
Memory to remember #2: Dancing in a swing dance competition! What?! Me, in a competition? silly I know, but we had a blast. Got totally off routine, but had a blast.
Memory to remember #3: Meeting the super cool band Atlantic and hanging out with their funny butts for a few days. Teaching them to swing dance. Going rollerblading from 12:15 to 2:30 in the morning with Josh and Cory. Taking a tour of Lowell the cool way. Having good conversations. Laughing. Looking at the stars.
Memory(ies) to remember #4: Late night excurisions. To the train bridge, to Creekside Kingdom, outsmarting the boys with Cherry, walking around downtown and the Amway Grand, going to the top of the building just to see the view.
Overall the past couple of weeks have been busy, really fun, but very very busy. Lots of dancing, I am getting more into teaching it now. I'm not the best instructor but I can get pretty much anyone doing the basics with a few twists and such.
My latest craze and desire for myself is to be feminine. To be a woman. Not just what God created me to be, but what God created me to be as a woman. I want to be Guinevere, Esther, Ruth, Deborah.... Fierce yet feminine. A lover and a fighter. Funny and serious. Skinny and curvy. Happy and sad. Optimistic and realistic. Honest and brutally honest.
I love this "crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic... awful beautiful life"
This was strictly a post for me. If you enjoyed it great, if you didn't I'm sorry. But I needed it. I need to remember. I need to.
-Leslie
P.S. I want the song "I hope you dance" to be played at my funeral. Is that weird to say? I hope it doesn't ruin the song for anyone but I'm afraid that it is what it is.
Memory to remember #1: Watching the Lowell Police give Brian, Josh, and myself parking tickets from the safety of a 40 foot tree and making the fastest getaway ever. Ohmygosh it is the coolest story, please ask me to tell it if you haven't heard it already.
Memory to remember #2: Dancing in a swing dance competition! What?! Me, in a competition? silly I know, but we had a blast. Got totally off routine, but had a blast.
Memory to remember #3: Meeting the super cool band Atlantic and hanging out with their funny butts for a few days. Teaching them to swing dance. Going rollerblading from 12:15 to 2:30 in the morning with Josh and Cory. Taking a tour of Lowell the cool way. Having good conversations. Laughing. Looking at the stars.
Memory(ies) to remember #4: Late night excurisions. To the train bridge, to Creekside Kingdom, outsmarting the boys with Cherry, walking around downtown and the Amway Grand, going to the top of the building just to see the view.
Overall the past couple of weeks have been busy, really fun, but very very busy. Lots of dancing, I am getting more into teaching it now. I'm not the best instructor but I can get pretty much anyone doing the basics with a few twists and such.
My latest craze and desire for myself is to be feminine. To be a woman. Not just what God created me to be, but what God created me to be as a woman. I want to be Guinevere, Esther, Ruth, Deborah.... Fierce yet feminine. A lover and a fighter. Funny and serious. Skinny and curvy. Happy and sad. Optimistic and realistic. Honest and brutally honest.
I love this "crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic... awful beautiful life"
This was strictly a post for me. If you enjoyed it great, if you didn't I'm sorry. But I needed it. I need to remember. I need to.
-Leslie
P.S. I want the song "I hope you dance" to be played at my funeral. Is that weird to say? I hope it doesn't ruin the song for anyone but I'm afraid that it is what it is.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Have you seen the one my heart loves?
Have you seen the one my heart loves?
It's a question that burns, a fire I can not dim.
and incase your paths cross before ours do,
I have a few things I wish that you would tell him.
Tell him that I'm waiting,
I'm not going anywhere
Tell him that I'm hoping,
that it's my life I'm willing to share.
Tell him that I'm doing ok
Tell him that I'm alright
Tell him that I do miss him at times
that winning my heart will require a fight
Tell him that I pray for him
but that sometimes I forget
Tell him that I've made mistakes
but now my heart is set
Tell him that I hope he's strong
His faith and heart are true
Tell him that I pray he's been tested
and tried through and through
Tell him that I hope he has waited
singlehood he has known well
Tell him that I know it too
and that at times it has been harder than I can tell.
Tell him that it's going to be a challenge
I can be "difficult" at times
Tell him that God is changing that
and gradually it's becoming His light that shines
Tell him that I'm doing just fine
I have dreams and passions of my own
Tell him that I don't want him until it's Gods time
and I'm the one for him, has been clearly shown.
Tell him that I don't need him
I'm fulfulled in a much Deeper way
but tell him that I want him
so much that words can't sufficiently say...
Tell him that I'm truly happy
my life is right on track
Tell him that I'm quite content
and that I hope he can say the same thing back.
Tell him that we're connected already
he need only say a prayer
Remind him we're talking to the same God
and when I'm not... He's there.
So I ask again, Have you seen the one my heart loves?
It's a question that burns, a fire that will not dim
and incase your paths cross before ours do,
I have a few things I need you to tell him...
It's a question that burns, a fire I can not dim.
and incase your paths cross before ours do,
I have a few things I wish that you would tell him.
Tell him that I'm waiting,
I'm not going anywhere
Tell him that I'm hoping,
that it's my life I'm willing to share.
Tell him that I'm doing ok
Tell him that I'm alright
Tell him that I do miss him at times
that winning my heart will require a fight
Tell him that I pray for him
but that sometimes I forget
Tell him that I've made mistakes
but now my heart is set
Tell him that I hope he's strong
His faith and heart are true
Tell him that I pray he's been tested
and tried through and through
Tell him that I hope he has waited
singlehood he has known well
Tell him that I know it too
and that at times it has been harder than I can tell.
Tell him that it's going to be a challenge
I can be "difficult" at times
Tell him that God is changing that
and gradually it's becoming His light that shines
Tell him that I'm doing just fine
I have dreams and passions of my own
Tell him that I don't want him until it's Gods time
and I'm the one for him, has been clearly shown.
Tell him that I don't need him
I'm fulfulled in a much Deeper way
but tell him that I want him
so much that words can't sufficiently say...
Tell him that I'm truly happy
my life is right on track
Tell him that I'm quite content
and that I hope he can say the same thing back.
Tell him that we're connected already
he need only say a prayer
Remind him we're talking to the same God
and when I'm not... He's there.
So I ask again, Have you seen the one my heart loves?
It's a question that burns, a fire that will not dim
and incase your paths cross before ours do,
I have a few things I need you to tell him...
Monday, September 3, 2007
Labor Day
Labor day could easily be retitled "Oh crap, summer is almost over?! Day haha
This is going to be such an awesome year. I am so excited for what God has in store. I'm ready to put my extremely fun summer behind me and move into a new season of doing things that really truly matter in this world. I'm excited to make an impact.
1 Corinthians 9 23-24:
"I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
I'm entering the race this year and believe me, it's going to be one heck of a run.
ha, I witnessed this on Saturday:
This is going to be such an awesome year. I am so excited for what God has in store. I'm ready to put my extremely fun summer behind me and move into a new season of doing things that really truly matter in this world. I'm excited to make an impact.
1 Corinthians 9 23-24:
"I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
I'm entering the race this year and believe me, it's going to be one heck of a run.
ha, I witnessed this on Saturday:
It was awesome! The biggest upset in college football history, yeah! Now of course I was cheering for Michigan, but I have no vested interest in their success (ahem Go Green!) and let me tell you what, I was so excited for Appalachian State! It was like a real life football movie unfolding in front of my eyes. It was an awesome game that I was so happy to have witnessed. Big thanks to Matt for taking me :)
This poem really spoke to my heart:
As long as I live, I will only love my Lord
With all my heart, strength and mind, I will only love my Lord
Regardless of what happens, I will only love my Lord
In all my actions and words, I will only love my Lord
In times of humility and learning, I will only love my Lord
In times of joy and gladness, I will only love my Lord
Whether I face hunger or if I am full, I will only love my Lord
I am His in life or death, I will only love my Lord.
The Lord has sacrificed His life for me
My deep sin has been pardoned
I have dedicated my life to Him
I will only love my Lord.
-Brother Yun, Chinese Christian
aaaand this finally:
Song of Solomon 3
1 All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.
2 The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. "Have you seen the one my heart loves?"
3 Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother's house, to the room of the one who conceived me
4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
This was an exceptionally random post... wasn't it?
L
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