My tummy aches...

Sometimes when I leave Josh's house... or he leaves mine... my stomach hurts. It's more of an ache. and it goes away in a few minutes, but still, is that weird? I think it might be. Overall I'm enjoying the steady descent into winter, but I must say, that leaving his arms after spending an evening with him and driving home has to be almost as harsh as the day I was born. All safe and comfortable inside my moms womb (with Brian right there of course) and then bam! the cold harsh world smacks me in the face! (or was it the toosh?) anyway, it's hard to leave, but leave we must.

oh and my sister might get a job in Chicago. and as excited for her as I am, it actually makes me quite sad when I really think about it. We don't hang out a lot here, but I like having her around. Oh well, life must go on eh?

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

Pennsylvania

Well, today was my first day back from my mini vacation to the hills of Pennsylvania with Josh. It was a much needed retreat to simplicity and couldn't have come at a better time. We had a great time four wheeling, eating, playing games... and... well.... not too much else. haha we rested a lot, ok more than a lot, and it was perfect. Except for the ticket Josh got on the way home, that wasn't so perfect... but the rest of it was!



I see in myself that when I don't spend time praying or in Gods Word, his values, truths, and desires for me mean less and less to my heart. I become more lenient in my thoughts, words, actions, and I don't like it. I can see how "falling back" is easy for some, I can see how it just sort of happens for others. But I refuse to let it happen to me. Really, I do. My life is as blessed as it is only, and I repeat ONLY because of what God has done in it, who he has brought into it, what He has taught me and the dreams He has placed inside of me. I have nothing to do with it. All I am is because of Him.



I need to make some lifestyle changes. Where is my time spent? How am I spending it? and what's it for? What really matters? and am I really living the Way I'm supposed to?

Ouch..

Hurt is inevitable.

So is change.

No one is exempt from these two feelings, ever. All we can do is learn to deal with them appropriately and maturely. Forgive..even if no apology is offered... forgive. See the other persons perspective, bring it to God if you must, and move on.

In general I feel discouraged lately. I feel like I am constantly encountering hurt. Hurt people, hurt feelings, hurt relationships, hurt pasts, hurt presents... hurt. I feel like there is nothing that can get rid of it, it's everywhere, like some nasty disease eating people from the inside and leaving nothing but an empty desire for something more. But I have to remember and I have to constantly remind myself that I have something more. I have a Living Hope inside of me. I have The Living Hope inside of me. I have the answer. I have the cure.

and I need to remember that. That's all that matters. That's really all that matters.

Coffee and Conversations

In the past 3 days I have had 3 coffee dates and have been insanely encouraged by each of them. There is something in my feminine spirit that desperately needs relationships, good conversations, true friends, and connecting in a verbal way. Ok maybe everyone needs that, including men, but I'm telling you... I have been so blessed.

Thursday night I got together with a new friend Katrina who, as it turns out, is extremely passionate about many of the same things that I am passionate about. We had a great time conversing about our God and the things He has laid on our hearts. Friday morning I got together with Heidi Holdridge and we just talked about what is going on in our lives, she was able to give me some wisdom and guidance in a couple of areas, and I left the conversation generally quite encouraged. This morning I got together with my sweet Chelsea Gentry. Chelsea and I have a habit of getting together, catching up on the goings on in each others lives and hearts, and then dreaming about the future and what it could hold. I think that both of our futures are huge question marks that are dotted with adventure, and today we went crazy just thinking of possibilities for the future. Here are some of our ideas :-)

1. Open a shop on Main Street in Lowell that serves as a book store/ art studio/ massage therapy / coffee shop/ and dance studio as well. How amazing would that be?! We found the perfect spot for it too. This little shop right on the river with a huge window in the back looking over the water. Perfect.

2. Plant a church in Ionia someday

3. Serve on a mission field this winter/spring for a few months. Potentially Belgium or Thailand.

4. Get married on the beach at night with candles and tiki torches and ahhh gorgeous

5. Start some kind of swing dancing ministry that goes to different churches and teaches the basics of swing dance to couples for a month or so. It would be great for marriages and would really help couples connect, in my opinion.

6. Intern at the prayer room in Grand Rapids (Chelsea's dream)

7. Intern at the "At Search of a Princess" ministry in Virginia (my dream!)

8. Help the poor and needy. Feed them, love them, know them.

God is renewing my passion for life and dreams and hope. He is sending people into my life who are full of passion, life, dreams, and hope. I am so blessed.... I am so blessed... I am so blessed.

The funny thing about these conversations are that they take work. They take planning and effort and coordinating schedules. Relationships like the ones I have right now don't just happen. They are quite intentional and sooo worth it.

Feelin' Fall

I feel a change coming over me. Maybe it's fall, maybe it's a lot of things. But I feel way different this week than I did last week.

I love the trees. I drove up to Greenville today and probably exclaimed, "OOO look at that tree!" atleast 12 times. I'm pretty sure atleast half of those exclamations came in the middle of Josh's sentences. Whoops. But when you're flying down the road you only have about 2.5 seconds to point out a stunning tree before it's gone..... and rearview mirrors do them no justice. Fortunately, I don't think he cared too much. He's good like that.

I also think that if trees could talk... and you had a conversation with them and said something like, "I don't think I believe in God" that the tree you were conversing with would laugh at you.

I also think that the birds, flowers, rocks, and stars would have the same reaction.

That's all :-)

la de da....

I feel like I'm living a love song :-)



Other than that, I don't have much for you.


Except for this. and I don't mean to be all "I know what I'm doing in life" on here, but I have one thing that I just wish people would grasp more of and that is this:

Share in other peoples excitement!

Even if you have reservations, or are disappointed, or are jealous, or you're tired, or you had a bad day, or could just down right care less. It is so important to share in other peoples victories, blessings, and excitement! and it's so hard sometimes. so hard! but hard is good! hard is so good... it builds character, and hard is usually correct.. and hard is important... and hard is worth it. Be at the top of the mountain with whoever just climbed it giving them a high five.... and they will never, ever forget it. Not only that... but simply because that's what friends do. It is! Friends are there at the top saying "I knew you could do it! I KNEW it! You earned it, you waited for it, it's your blessing, take it!"

and they're also at the bottom saying... "Wow, you're surprisingly easy to catch..."


ah...I don't know... just try it. Try it once and you'll see what I'm saying....




la... deee da... dum.. .doodley... doooooo....